The future of television is in my lap as I write. Thousands of channels are beamed from the sky into the eye-sore mounted on my roof (we aren’t settlers) for a monthly king’s ransom and nowhere can I find “Superbowl Memories”- except, of course, on YouTube where the first 44 game recaps can be found. Superbowl Sunday, especially now that we are at game 50, should be a day of reflection on Superbowls past.
Instead we get Trey Wingo, retired NFL stiff #65 and #66, and Bill Polian dissecting the snacks that are provided to players at halftime of the big game. Or how about Phil Simms’s “All Iron Team” Superbowl edition? The guy with the most obvious case of CTE in any living player takes the tradition of the all Madden Team and bastardizes it for another year. The best awful TV of the afternoon, however, will be provided by the ever cringe worthy Sunday NFL Countdown. Interested to hear Wendi Nix interview a “congested” Brett Favre, Tom Jackson preaching about Johnny Manziel’s latest transgression, Ray Lewis telling us about the best place to dispose of your bloody clothes after witnessing a murder, or Keyshawn Johnson who will inform us of the most opportune time (right down to the second, Boom) to take a shit before the game while Mike Ditka is in the process of doing just that live on set.